Once the Devas and Asuras(1) were arrayed for a battle, then Vepachiththi the Asura king said to the Deva king Sakka, ‘let the victory of the battle be decided by a debate’. The side of the one who speaks well will win the battle. Then they appointed a panel of judges to judge the debate.
The Asura king Vepachiththi said;
Having no constrains
Would flair up the fool
Thus the wise one
Should restrain the fool
With a heavy stick
Sakka the Deva king answered;
With the knowledge that
He is provoked
Mindfully growing calm
Is the best constrain as I see(2)
The debate that occurred between two deities reflected a debate that existed before the time of Buddha. The two Kings had completely opposite views of how to deal with an angered person. Asura King believed that the angered person has to be controlled with force, offense and resistance, while Deva King believed that being non resistance and calm was the best way to deal with it. Which one of these two approaches should we choose? As Buddha himself once said;
You make things worse when you flare up at someone who’s angry. Whoever doesn’t flare up at someone who’s angry wins a battle hard to win.(3)
We were taught that enmity is not ceased by enmity. Only with amity can enmity be ceased.(4) This is a very good theory to be preached and written about, but how to practice it? Vepachiththi, the Asura King raised this question and expressed concern about treating angered one by being calm.
As cow chases after the one who runs away, he will pursue you even more thinking “He’s forbearing out of fear of me.”(2)
What Asura King said is what comes to our mind when we were told to respond to anger with calmness. Why should I be calm and accept defeat? I wasn’t the one who did wrong. He will think I didn’t do anything because I am afraid of him. Those are our concerns. When someone did something wrong to us we have the need to take revenge on him. If I can hit the one who hit me, I actually feel good. We often hear people say that “it doesn’t matter, I got beat up a little, but I hit him harder.” What matters to them is that they could take revenge. We know that anger and revenge are not good qualities to harvest on us. But why does it feel good?
Honeyed crest and poisoned root
Once a god asked Buddha;
Having killed what
Do you sleep in ease?
Having killed what
Do you not grieve?
Of the slaying of what
One thing does Gotama approve?
Buddha answered;
Having killed anger
You sleep in ease.
Having killed anger
You do not grieve.
The noble ones praise
The slaying of anger
With its honeyed crest & poison root.(5)
Anger thrills, but kills
Buddha, while highlighting the importance of “killing” anger, defines anger as “honeyed, crested and poisoned rooted”. It’s said to be honeyed crest because anger gives us a temporary thrill. As mentioned earlier we feel good when we take revenge. It is poisoned rooted because when the roots of a tree are poisoned; gradually the whole tree would die. Likewise, anger will spread in you and can make your life miserable. Revenge may make you feel good at the beginning. But in the long run you have to worry about him taking revenge on you back. Anger leads to enmity. Enmity leads to battle. Anger thrills but it kills.
As Buddha once said to the Akkosa Bharadvaja Brahmin;
If you mindfully grow calm
When knowing other’s provoked
You live for good of both
Your own and others
Those who think you are a fool
Know nothing of Dhamma(3)
As Buddha said, the one who insult you of being calm is the one who knows nothing of Dhamma. What would you choose? The Buddha and Deva king Sakka or the Vepachithti the Asura King?
Notes
1. The Devas & Asuras were two groups of deities who fought for control of heaven. The Devas eventually won. The Asuras, known for their fierce anger, later were classed as angry demons.
2. Samyuththa nikaaya – Sakka Saüyutta – Suvira vaggo – Subhasita-jaya Sutta
3. Samyuththa nikaaya – Brahmana Saüyutta – Arahantha vaggo – Akkosa Sutta
4. Dhammapada – Yamaka Vagga – verse 5
5. Samyuththa nikaaya – Devatha Saüyutta – Jhathva vaggo – Jhathva Sutta
